Between Christmas and New Years and the kids being home from school I didn’t have much quiet time to update this. By the time I had time I figured it would be best to wait until I saw my surgeon yesterday to update how things were going.
Yago and I made the trip down to Columbus with me a bundle of nerves. It was 7 weeks post op and I had started feeling so good (way better at this stage than when I had the first side done) around 5-6 weeks I broke my precautions a couple of times and had some increased pain over the past week and was freaking out about it. Luckily I didn’t do any damage. Dr. Ellis went over my x-rays with us first and said he thought they looked good. The front and side cuts in the bones were showing nice signs of healing. The back cut (the “butt bone”) was not as filled in as he would have liked, but that bone is not as important as it’s not a weight bearing bone, so he gave me permission to start adding weight onto my leg (while using my crutches) and to start PT and as I build some strength start weaning off the crutches in the next month or so. I may need them for longer distances for awhile, but hope to be off them for shorter distances in the next 4 weeks or so. Last night I had to keep reminding my brain that it was ok to put weight on the leg. 7 weeks of not using that leg and my brain is confused now that it’s ok to start trying. I have noticed in the past 24 hours that the muscles get tired and tight pretty quickly, so I have to rest when it gets that way so I don’t flare myself up. Sitting is resting some, but laying is what the muscles need when they fatigue. He said I didn’t have any restrictions, but just to take it easy as I wean myself back into life activities. I’ve went way too fast in the past and am determined this time to take things slower as to minimize flares.
I have been able to be pretty independent with all things now, including tying my shoes, and even painting my toe nails (although it was quite uncomfortable, but I was able to do it a few days ago)! I’ve done some light meal preps (pancakes, eggs, burgers) and cooking, my endurance just is low so I need to rest awhile afterwards. I can get on/off the floor fairly well, and pick things up off of the floor too. Basically everything I can do, I just have to give myself lots of seated and some laying rest breaks.
At the appointment Dr. Ellis also moved my hip all around and said for the first time it felt really good. It didn’t give me pain either or have that muscle guarding I always had pre-scope and post-scope. I told him I no longer felt like my hip was falling out of the socket with muscle spasms all around it. The muscles are tight from surgery, scar tissue, and weakness, but not spasming for the first time in years! It’s truly incredible to me. Another huge thing is that before this surgery I had to ride in the car on a solid cutting board to give my hip stability and at all times had to sit in a hard, solid seat to minimize the spasming from instability. I haven’t used the cutting board in the car at all since surgery, and didn’t need it for the 2 hour down and 2 hour trip back from Columbus! I was sore and tight, but didn’t need it which was so incredible. I had been using that thing for almost a year and a half. I took pics of my X-rays and posted them below along with my scar picture which is looking pretty good at this point–much better than the other side at this stage. I also received a copy of my operative report so I can keep all 4 together in my files. Dr. Ellis talked about how he no longer puts in the screw that he put in my left hip going up because it has been bothering his patients a lot and causing them problems. I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ve been feeling in my left hip since that surgery because there’s always a discomfort, not in the joint, but just below and to the side of it. With all the pain in the right hip the past year and a half and in my low back it took low priority to me, but I’m feeling it more and more lately (maybe because of the cold temps), especially when trying to flex that hip up and extend it down. I never planned to get my screws out post surgery, but after I recover from this we’ll see. I was hoping that pain was due to the pelvis and back being a mess and would go away with time, but after hearing him say that I realize it may not go away and may consider getting it out in time. I go back to get X-rayed again and see him end of February, so I’ll bring it up then if it’s still a bother. In the meantime I will head back to Columbus Monday to start my PT! I will go every week or two depending on how often my PT wants to see me. I decided it’s worth the travel, he’s that good, and my surgeon really trusts and respects him. I can’t deal with bad PT again!
I must again give many thanks to my parents who have been rock stars in helping with me and the kids these past 2 months and over the break. Also the awesome friends who kept the meal train up for us through last night. All of the food was excellent and sooooooooooo much appreciated!!!! Lastly my husband who is an incredible man that I couldn’t say enough wonderful things about! So much to be thankful for despite all that I’ve gone through and the continued journey I am on. I must say I still have a long way to go, I still have a messed up pelvis and my low back is still messed up, the hip muscles have a lot of therapy needed, and I am in pain still because of those issues all of the time, but it’s way better than it was, the intensity of the pain is much less. I hope and pray my back issues are not long term, that they will resolve eventually. I think by 1 year post op I’ll know for sure if there’s a serious problem or not. Dr. Ellis did recommend I see a geneticist and be followed for my probable EDS/hypermobility disorder and said he expects the pelvic/back issues to improve, but said due to the hypermobility I may always struggle some with those areas. That’s kind of the conclusion I have come to as well. I try not to overthink it or look into the future of what may or may not be, although I do have my moments of freak out.
There was this movie we saw a year or so ago on DVD where when things went bad this man always said “God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.” That phrase has resonated in my head this past month a lot. I know I see posts on social media often when something good happens or all is well in someone’s life they write that God is good. To me God is always good. Even in the lowest of lows of my pain and depression, when I was angry at God and shouting at him or crying my eyes out so frustrated with the circumstances in my life, I still said God was good. Either He is good or He is not, and that should not change based on my moods, feelings in the moment, or circumstances of my life. Driving in my car last winter in terrible pain I was listening to some worship music about praising God and remember thinking (not in a sarcastic way but in an almost desperate way) “I’ll praise you when I get through this trial in life” and was convicted immediately by The Lord in that moment with his response “Why aren’t you praising me now?” It hit me hard and brought tears of shame to my eyes because I knew He was right, I needed to praise God in all circumstances and really truly trust him. This was not an easy thing for a control freak, perfectionist like myself. Every time since then I started to go back down my road of doubts and negativity I turned on worship music or started reading my Bible or spent time in prayer and praised God for his goodness even though my circumstances were not good. I would feel my mood life and The Lord take away the fears/doubts/negativity and little by little. I am a long way from where I want to be, but so much closer to Him than I ever was, and the changes inside of me are not ones I could have made on my own. The world and everything in it has the potential and most always will disappoint, things/people/events that made me “happy” were all temporary, and I was always chasing the next “thing” that would give me that temporary happiness again. I was my own worst enemy. I see life differently, better, and feel like I was heading down my own path when God intervened and diverged me to His path, which ultimately is a much better path for me. I have so much love inside now instead of negativity.
Anyways, to wrap things up, I was reading the other day and came across this and it really resonated with me “Much of our irritability comes from our love of perfection, but perfection only exists in God, we need to love God and others, not the visions we have for perfection on earth.” That’s what I am focusing on, Love, you can’t lose with love. If you have time, read 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible, most know if from being recited at weddings (we had it at our own), but I never really READ it until recently. God bless, thanks for reading