Week 5

Tomorrow actually marks 6 weeks since my LPAO, but I never got around to writing this past week so I figured better late than never.  I plan not to write my 6 week post until I see my surgeon (Dr. Ellis) on Monday anyways, hoping to have some good news.

The past week and a half I’ve found my hip doing better and better.  I have to be honest, I’ve slipped up and broken my non-weight bearing precautions a few times accidentally putting some weight on the left leg.  It’s really hard to not use it now that the surgical pain is gone and the leg is moving much better since starting pool PT 2 weeks ago.  The leg is getting stronger, I can walk in the pool (with lots of focus) without holding on to anything now.  Most of the muscles have “woken up” to work at least partially.  I am lacking range of motion and strength of course, but feel like I’m sooooooo ready to move on to the next stage of this journey and get this leg moving and walking!!  I’ve been getting out more which is mentally helping me.  Mostly use the wheelchair for anything requiring distance more than walking in from car and sitting down somewhere immediately.  I still use the wheelchair in the first floor of the house much of the time, mostly because I can hold things and carry them and get where I’m going quicker.  I did get new Mobileg crutches that are Fabulous!!!  They have taken the stress off of the area where the median nerve is and relieved about 70% of my carpal tunnel pain. They are ergonomically much better in so many ways, but most importantly for my hands.  I will never go back to regular crutches after these.  I also started getting on my exercise bike (pushing down with right only and letting left leg “go for a ride”), it’s not much, but makes me feel like I am doing something and getting some range of motion.

It’s not all peachy, I do have to keep it real and put up the things that aren’t going well.  The right hip has continued to take a brutal beating through these 2 left hip surgeries and recoveries.  Since I’ve been more mobile and walking more on it, the muscles keep going into protective mode (since it too is messed up) and pulling my hips out of alignment, shifting my sacrum, and once again my never-ending nerve pain comes back to me most of the day.  I can sometimes reset the hips and SI joint from tricks I learned in PT, but it doesn’t stay long, my whole core is just too weak to support the pelvis to stay stable (thanks to a still torn up right hip, weak muscles in general from lack of working out due to the long-term chronic pain journey, poor learned muscle patterns {aka bad biomechanics}, and a lifetime of poor quality hips).  Anyways, holding on to the hope that PT will help start to sort things out as best as possible until other hip gets fixed.

Well I’ve been feeling more positive the past few days despite the unstable pelvis, nerve pain down the whole left leg, and back pain being present.  I’m feeling reconnected to God again at the moment.  I have days where I feel so far from him and other days like he’s holding me and all this in his hands.  I wish all the days could be the positive/connected ones, but I’m just not there yet. I see that God is using this time to grow my faith in him, asking me to trust him, and changing me the way I asked him to change me December 11, 2011 when I was baptized.  I never expected this to be the venue for change, and I am certainly glad he didn’t show me ahead of time this was the road I would be walking, pretty sure I couldn’t have handled it had I known what the following year and a half would bring.  I reflect back on it all and can’t believe the road I’ve walked.  Just when I think I can’t take it anymore God is there holding me and carrying me through moments I didn’t think I could handle.   Through the loss of control over almost everything these past 11 weeks, through the 2 surgeries within 6 weeks of each other and the pain and healing process of them, through 1 1/2 years of horrible pain that on many days I didn’t care if I lived or died, through 1 year of “tolerable” pain before that, through the guilt of not being able to be the mom I want to be, not being the wife I want to be, not being the therapist I want to be to my special needs kids that I work with, somehow he keeps pulling me through all of it.  It’s too overwhelming at times when I think of it all, too hard to look back or ahead, so I try to look only at today and tomorrow.  I think of the Bible verse where Paul writes about the thorn in his side that he asks the Lord 3 times for it to leave him, and God says to him “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”  This verse speaks to me a lot lately because I’ve asked and prayed and cried an ocean of tears for this pain to be taken from me, and  he hasn’t taken it away, he’s carried me through it all and changed me, and somehow through this I hope I can help others.

Well, Monday is a big day for me, say a prayer for me that I have healed enough to start weight-bearing and start land PT, that the surgeon develops the correct plan (which surgery is best and the best time frame for it) for my right hip, that I ask the right questions, and that my husband and I have a safe 4 hour round trip to Columbus and back.  I’ll update next week after the visit.

P.S. I attached some pics from the week, an outing with the kids/niece/in-laws, me on my new Mobileg crutches, me on the bike, and my new BFF (my cat Chica) now that I can get on the floor again she doesn’t leave my side

bike pic cat pic crutches pic golf pic


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